so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
