so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
