So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
