Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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