I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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