If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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