bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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