I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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