porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
