On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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