we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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