I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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