Are we in a gay sports bar?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
farters have to be the big spoon...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
