Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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