my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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