i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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