oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have peed in a lot of sinks
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize