I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
