btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
