His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
