what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
