HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
