How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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