I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
