Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
