quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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