Kiss
Puke
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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