People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
