Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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