i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
time to smoke my breakfast
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
