I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
