please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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