that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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