So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
