he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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