Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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