My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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