do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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