I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
