Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
