If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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