I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
