OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
