I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
