apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
