you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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