i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
