This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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