You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
