we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I love having hate sex.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
