When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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