Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
