at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
