i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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