Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This baby is an asshole
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize