am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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