It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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