i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize