At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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