last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
