The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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