no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Randomize
