STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No subtext here. People are naked.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
